Away.

Away. I can't wait to get away. It's been a bit of a rough few weeks but tomorrow evening we hit the road for a nice long weekend at our favorite place in the world. I'm so excited to just BE with these three monkeys. No work, no phone, no nothing but eating, playing and sleeping :)

Jackson has been such a big helper lately. He is always willing to jump up and help me in any way he can. He has such a servant's heart and it makes my heart swell each time he joyfully serves someone else. 

While we were at the park in the photo above, the boys met a little 18 month old girl. It was like someone turned on their gentleman's switch! Soft and gentle, helping her with the slide, letting her fall back and land on them, sitting still while she examined their dark hair. They just had huge smiles on their faces the entire time. Made me want a little sister for them. At the end of our time with "Olivia" she gave Jackson a big kiss and he was just beaming. 

A little random, but a post nonetheless. Helps me remember the small stuff.

Two.

This morning Josh and I were in the bathroom talking and I randomly asked him when he thought we should switch our youngest babe, Titus, into a day bed and out of his crib. We talked about it for a minute when all the sudden Titus walked in to the bathroom......neither one of us had gotten him out of bed yet. Apparently tonight we are switching his crib to a day bed.

My baby is going to be two on Monday. I cannot believe it. Time has flown by so fast and all of the sudden this big, vivacious, precocious, fun loving, adventure seeking, scraped up and bruised little boy is not my baby any more. He is fighting to grow up and be like his big brothers just as fast as his little legs can carry him and I don't like it one bit. I must admit, I love the little person he is turning into and I can't wait to see his expressive personality develop more and more. I'm praying for the Lord to grab hold of his big heart as it grows and that he will let me rock him to sleep for a few more years even though he is already out growing my lap.

I love you Titus bug. I'm so thankful that Jesus chose me to be your mama.

Stubborn.

I am stubborn and I hate giving up. It's a little running joke in our family that we are all stubborn, my three sisters, myself and our parents. I will fight for what I believe in, what I think is important, and I will fight even harder if I feel like it's being taken away from me. It churns in my stomach, weighs constantly on the back of my mind, pulling and tugging on my thoughts until I give it full attention.

When my twins were just 2 weeks old, I was - how can I say it - injured? I wanted so badly to tandem breast feed. It was very important to me that I get both boys on the exact same schedule. I didn't want to feed one and then the other, and then the other, and then, well you get it. For any of you who have nursed a baby before, you know the latch is the most important part when you are getting started and your skin is new and soft and non-calloused. I sacrificed that perfect latch to tandem feed. It was either feed them one at a time, with a good latch, or tandem feed with poor latches. I chose to tandem feed with poor latches and was therefor chewed on for two weeks straight, ignoring the searing pain.

There is a myth that many lactation consultants and websites feed new mothers - If it hurts, you are doing it wrong. This is just not true. The soft, new skin is not used to being treated the way a new baby, learning how to eat, treats it. It does hurt, but there is a certain level of pain that should not be tolerated. I ended up having to pump for weeks as it slowly healed. During that time I nursed each twin once per day. I still wanted to breast feed my babies.

E and J about 4 years ago

Many people questioned me during this time, wondered why I didn't give up, just give them formula when I was in so much pain. It was never an option for me. After all I'm stubborn and the benefits of breast feeding my babies, both emotional and physical,  came first for me.

I am so thankful I stuck with it. I never, ever regretted it and I can honestly say it made nursing my singleton so darn easy. I love helping new mamas with breast feeding struggles. Please email me or post a comment here with questions or concerns. Nursing your babes is such a gift for them and for you! I'm so blessed the Lord allowed me to continue through all the trials I went through.